Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
