FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
