I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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