Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
