$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
