i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
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Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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