Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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