he wants to bone in the snuggie
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
