okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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