You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems