that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....