Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
