nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
