hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
