I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
