I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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