i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
please come you make the beer taste better
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
