Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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