just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
