The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
