She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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