Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
