Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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