You really coming over, don't trick.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
