it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i think i just lost a toe
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
