shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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