suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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