he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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