I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
