ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
