Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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