I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
