did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
