i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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