ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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