i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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