is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
