Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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