So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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