I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize