dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
