Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
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Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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