If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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