do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
