They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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