I'm jealous of your bromance
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
