He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He felt like a one man threesome
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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