Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
