I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
