dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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