Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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