We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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