She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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