Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
