I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
