He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
