im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
