Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
