Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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