i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
time to smoke my breakfast
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
