well you can't waste a boner
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
