Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
