please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
