I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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