Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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