Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I still have a little drunk in my system
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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