Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
