I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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