I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
