I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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