i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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