Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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