My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
