I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
