It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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